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Margien Matthews

Having a bubbly personality is a huge asset - don't let anyone squash you, gal! However I'm wondering why you're asking this question - perhaps you got some feedback that that you needed to tone things down? If so, it may not be your strong personality that's the issue, but how you project yourself. What are your listening skills like? Are you giving other people equal airtime? Do you build on the thoughts and contributions of others or are you always quick to push your own point of view?

Wisdom is knowing when to turn on the full force of your personality and when to let others take centre stage. It's not about diminishing your personality but about sharing the limelight and giving others the space to express their views and opinions in their own way. Strive to attain that middle ground you seek not by diluting your personality, but by using it more selectively.

If this advice resonates with you, then do a quick reflection exercise after your next interaction. Ask yourself three things: a) Did I listen as much or more than I spoke? b) What did I value about the contribution of the other person? c) Did the other person feel heard by me?

Please reach out if you'd like us to have a session to explore this further.