A member asked me what to do if her boss hates her. She feels that all the influencing skills in the world aren't going to help! Here are some tips we discussed:
a) check your reality: are you making assumptions about the other person or do you have hard evidence that you're being treated unfavourably compared to others? How do neutral third parties perceive the relationship?
b) check your agenda: are you on the same page and working towards the same goals? Is it clear to your boss that you're on the same team?
c) try out new ways: if you approach things differently, do you get a different response? Don't be afraid to try out new ways of working together - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
c) pose the question: request a meeting and ask your boss if you've done something wrong. Provide the evidence and ask how you can work together constructively. Avoid blaming statements and remember to triangulate the problem (revisit day 25 - gloves off). And finally, make sure to get a clear way forward i.e. what you both will do differently going forward, to build a stronger working relationship.
I look forward to getting her update as to what she tried and what worked.