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    Margien Matthews
    Keymaster

    One of our members had a big revelation on Day 18. He realised that in emotionally raised situations he would immediately go into problem-solving mode in order to try "fix" the perceived problem. Often this did not get him the results that he wanted. His staff, in this case, would resist his attempts and would give him feedback later that they felt undermined. He felt that he was in a no-win situation.

    He decided to try what he'd learnt on Day 18, and just stick to expressing empathy without trying to fix things. he said it was really hard to do things differently and he frequently had to pull himself back from his default mode of wanting to see quick action. He decided to pause the other steps temporarily and focus only on building his empathy skills for the upcoming seven days. A week later he gave me very positive feedback that it's made a big difference to his team (because they feel heard and they're taking more initiative to fix things themselves), at home (an unexpected benefit was that his partner told him that he was so much more understanding and easier to talk to) and to himself - because he no longer has the burden of resolving every issue that comes his way.

    I hugely admire his tenacity in trying a different approach and I'm delighted that it's given him such good results.

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